is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize