Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he thought i was a dude.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize