It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
