If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
