Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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