It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
