I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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