I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
