I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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