I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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