I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
