So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
