Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize