he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
