I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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