i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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