I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
