I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
