I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
