Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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