I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
