It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize