Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize