is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
