Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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