Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize