new low.... made out with someone while peeing
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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