k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
