so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
