you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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