Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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