no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize