I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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