Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And then he peed in my hair
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