So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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