The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
