he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
