Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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