so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My ass is underappreciated
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
