i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
nutella sex= disaster
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
