i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
