Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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