my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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