come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
