Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize