1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
