Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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