I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
