he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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