i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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