So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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