if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
