I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
