hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
