Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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