I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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