While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
