just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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