I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
