Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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