I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
