You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When are your genitals available?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
