Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
