I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
