So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
