Are we in a gay sports bar?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
