is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize