What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
