I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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