1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
