on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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