Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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