don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
