Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
