dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
