Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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