:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
