Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
