ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
